Make eye contact and small talk

Of all the lessons that Timothy Snyder lays out in On Tyranny, this one is probably the most difficult for me. And it seems like perhaps the most vital lesson. He doesn’t provide a bunch of historical examples from the various Eastern European despotisms that he has studied over the years. But it just takes a few terrifying examples of daily life from the Soviet Union to realize the importance of ordinary, everyday society.

When I read about the khrushchevka apartments in Russia that Khruschev was resposible for building in the 1950s, I at first saw them as examples of the Soviet Union crushing the souls of its citizens. But reading Secondhand Time by Swetlana Alexievich, you realize that these uninviting apartment blocks provided its citizens a place to have a private life. Where did you discuss the hottest samizdat publication with your neighbors? In the cramped kitchen of your khrushchevka apartment.

If my neighbors in my 27-story-high high rise have an opinion of me, it is that I am a very quiet, unobtrusive man listening to something loud on headphones. I have a barrier around me. I am terrible at making small talk, especially to people I don’t know. I have an exceptionally well-developed notion of my own personal space and get weirded out when it is violated. Angry even.

I feel like I am confessing my psychological disorders to the world, but it is applicable to today’s lesson. Aside from scheduling some therapy—which is a scary move for me—one easy change I can make is to take the headphones out of my ears. I feel like I need to be available to the world. To say hello to every person I meet on the elevator, and ask them a little something about their day.

[Please consider supporting this publication by becoming a patron, and you can also support it by patronizing our online store. And one more way to support this work is to buy books through The Great God Pan is Dead’s bookstore. ]